Friday, July 15, 2011

Ascent (Poem)

The castle itself you couldn't quite make out,
nestled and jutting from the dark spine halfway up the mountain.
Formidable, hidden and looming came to mind
as my feet crunched up the half-hour's walk of beat down snow
and red pines rising a hundred feet straight up,
sentinels to my solitude.

People chattered, pushed, slid and wrenched their ways
incongruously up the path,
anomalies on my landscape,
mistakes from a painter's unsteady hand.
They were headed to this fortress,
hunched on a rock hundreds of meters ahead,
yet seemed to make no progress, while I,
smoothly and almost sanguinely
glided further up to where an entryway stood with its gaping jaw open.

Strangely though,
where once there had been freedom to pass
a guard now protected the blackness behind.
Was this predictable?
Did this now match the protests of a few girls,
who had somehow made it to the top unseen by me?
Who now stepped forward to force a pass
and were punched downwards by the guard,
crumpled to the snow.

He seemed unfazed, powerfully old
and I crunched closer only to realize he had no eyes.
More closely now,
surrounded now by towers soaring into the Bavarian sky.
He still had made no move to block me
and I passed within a panicked inch,
near enough to smell the strength taken from those he had finished.
Suddenly, surprisingly, simply,
I was inside. I was alone.

A stillness descended down upon me like a play's curtain
and I turned to see the guard,
now facing me,
his back to a sunlight that punched its way
around his shoulders yet never reached me,
silhouetting his eyeless face.
I turned quickly,
and began ascending the stairs smothered in silence.

Untitled (Poem)

He leaned quietly into his roan horse's worn saddle,
arched his back with that slow stiffness morning frost brings,
and closed his eyes briefly.
Thoughts rattled around his head like gravel being shoveled,
and assembled themselves one by one,
as his troops gleamed in the dawn,
bayonets glinting off and on like golden chattering teeth.
Never a stiller calm, he thought,
absently finding his fingers entwined in the mare's rough mane,
and raising his hand to his mouth,
tasted days old musket powder,
stained with tobacco, pride and rich trampled dirt.
Never a stiller calm, he thought again,
raising this same scarred saber hand,
sending a tiny ocean forward to death or glory.

The world before T (Poem)

Slapping stifling smoky storms–
serene slumber suffocates sadness
so?
Sandy shores surprise stubby starfish.
slowly stand, slip, slump.
Soar skyward shiny star!

Stomp sexy Sunday sunflowers,
Secretly sifting seeds – sensual slender slippery skin.
Snakes, stars, sneakily slide, slither, sense… 
seers see sudden silky smiles.
Surely Saturdays she sleeps,
surely she sleeps.

Chapter 8: The teacher chronicles

It wouldn't be fair, in fact, it would be a damn shame to say I never saw that rare spark in the back of student's eyes as the synonyms and antonyms, homophones and homonyms, tumbling around, came to a halt with understanding. Then the gears, where moments before they had been whirling around like the sodden clothing in a washing machine's tumbler would click smoothly into place and justify my two-hour one-way commute into a cracked and crumbled community surrendering itself to AIDS and fast food. It also wouldn't be fair to say all teacher beginnings are jaded, short of life and battered by reasons too plentiful to jot down in this stumbling story. Yet, it is fair to say my teaching years began with one person: Ruben Carmenate. It is also fair to say that the words "yellow chicken" have never meant so much to me as they did then, on the first day teaching a veritable army of 35 bilingual, special education kindergarteners in the heart of the Bronx.

 I remember hearing his screaming, or talking (they were the same for him either way) as our pathologically nice school counselor brought him and his "mom" down the lengthy corridor of my sunken school, towards the last door on the right. Mine.

There were moments during that first year, when I sat on my favorite chair. Its back came no higher than my knee, and I would eat my lunch in sheer silence, wondering if they had placed me in that specific room as a cruel twist to the dumping ground my class had become for any kid between four and six and a half years old, each with an even half-dozen psychological and physiological major malfunctions as an added bonus. Aside from what I termed the "angel pack" of half-dozen girls that lit up my day with their smiles, learning-lit eyes and a few "Mr. Davis you are the best teacher in the world!" comments, this comprised my class. Ruben, all silly puns aside, made the already formidable list of students look like child's play.

"A HA HA HA yellow chicken, chicken yellow, juice!? Were approximately the first few words I heard Ruben scream and garble while on his way down the hallway to my classroom. My students, at this point a few months into the year, were petrified of doing anything I did not approve of, like or deem necessary in my quest to turn them into regular functioning individuals of society. This does not mean they didn't engage in some ridiculous shit, like boys opening their pants during rug time to show the girl next to him his "algo especial" or another boy saying he wanted to imitate the sounds his mommy made with all her boyfriends, in the mornings coming back from work. Yet, wide their eyes went when Ruben came to the door, cackling and yelling about yellow chicken from behind his green-filmed teeth. As a lovely addition, were you to suddenly drop acid and stare boggle-eyed at a demented rhinoceros with a shock of hair like a soaked mess of palm leaves mixed with ivy instead of a horn, a voice like pebbles being scraped across obsidian and a lonely cloud of smoke odor rapidly trying to catch up in the hallway, his mother appeared.

"Wher da fuck you takin' me muchacha?" came the melodious voice of Ruben's mother.

And so begin the chronicles of a Bronx teacher.